Collapsing under the weight of the wishing well

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I rushed down the stairs, a pack of construction paper in my hands.

“Are you new here?” a woman asked me when I reached the bottom step,  “I’ve never seen you before.”

Funny, I knew who she was and how much she was involved in church life. Surely she had seen me, too. I quickly explained that I had been attending for several years.

“Are you sure?” she replied.

I nodded my head.

“Wow, I guess it’s because you’re so quiet.”

Her words poked and prodded me as if I were a strange life form that had just crawled out from under a hymn book.

She was right. I was quiet. My dad was quiet, one of my sisters was quiet, too. I hated it, being an introvert. But, I had lived long enough to know I was wired this way. Extroverts drew energy from social situations. I wilted. It took solitude to bring me back to life.

I opened my mouth to explain all this. But, she just walked away.

I forgot all about the packet of construction paper in my hands.  The excitement of “making it happen” in Sunday School drained out of me.  Feeling just little smaller and a little more invisible, I trudged to the preschool classroom.

The rest of the morning, I had a hard time concentrating.

“How could she not see me?” I thought while passing out crayons, “I’m not that quiet.”

By the time I got home the brief conversation had destroyed my day. It felt like I was back in high school again. Riding an emotional roller-coaster, wishing I could be just like everyone else.

It’s a good thing that wish never came true.

I would have never become courageous, fighting to be who I was made to be. I would have never learned to focus on developing my strengths instead of my weaknesses. I would have blended into the crowd, an exact replica of everyone else.

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3 thoughts on “Collapsing under the weight of the wishing well

  1. I have had the same situation happen to me, Renee. I just figured that that other person just wasnt paying much attention! It happens even now…..Praise the Lord, He knows we are here and knows everything there is about us! Love your stories!

    1. Thanks Susan. You are so right. We don’t know what another person is going through. But, God knows their struggles and He knows ours. Thanks for reading my blog! I miss you guys!

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