Dancing with Disappointment; getting through the day without giving up.


Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

My favorite scene?

Charlie’s tiny hovel of a home. Both sets of grandparents sitting in an oversized bed facing the other.

Covered in quilts.

No central heating.

Barely any food.

But, everyone talks and laughs together. They have each other.

I am crazy about spending time with the ones I love.

  • I want to grow old with my husband.
  • Have my children live down the street from me after they get married.
  • See my grandkids every day.

My parents are not so great an example. Dad slipped away into the great beyond before they had a chance to retire. He didn’t see any of his kids marry or hold one grandchild in his polyester pant-clad lap.

I used to blame Mom.

Why hadn’t she held on somehow? She didn’t she grab death by throat and made his cold gnarly fingers let go of my Dad?

Sounds harsh. But, I had to blame someone.

If I entertained the possibility that stuff just happens, I would open the door to the possibility that I had no control over my life. The bad things that happened to other people could happen to me.

I really, really wanted to keep that door closed.

Double locked.

Nailed shut.

Boarded over and draped with Crime Scene – Do Not Cross tape.

But, now, my kids are slipping away too. Not to any heavenly shore. But, they are definitely farther away than I would like.

  • Two are in the Midwest. Yes, a four long days drive from northwest Canada.
  • Another is relocating to the UK in two weeks.
  • If my daughter’s plans work out she will depart in September to New Zealand and parts beyond.

If only life came with a

  • Get-out-of-jail-free card.
  • Genie in a bottle
  • Or at least a spoiler alert.

Not a chance.

Stuff happens. Sometimes there is not a thing you can do about it.

So, what am I going to do?

  1. Cry? Done that
  2. Lay on the floor and kick and scream? Very tempting.
  3. Deal with it and enjoy the time I get to spend with them in the future? Cold, very cold. Makes me want to cry all over again.

Trust me; there are greater disappointments than this.

But, this is the one I’ve got to get through.

It’s not easy.

As for Charlie’s happy little scene of family togetherness in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, having your both sets of grandparents sleeping in the living room all day is  kind of creepy.

Maybe Charlie had his own disappointments.

I’m just learning how to deal.

Tune in tomorrow for more of the three part series, Dancing with Disappointment.