Ever have one of those long days when you realized it would have been safer to stay in bed?
I remember one. I was 21 years old.
Every week a spent one night with a woman who had Multiple sclerosis. She couldn’t walk, so she used a wheel chair.
One evening we went to the dentist. After her appointment, I heaved her wheel chair in the trunk. Then, I got in to drive her home.
I looked in my purse, on the ground around the car, in my pockets.
“They must be in the trunk,” I said finally. By this time the doctor’s office had closed. Night had fallen and it started to rain.
“I’ve got to go to the bathroom,” my usually bubbly friend said. I just stared back at her unsure what to do.
“Go knock on the office door,” she snapped. Her eyes shined with tears. “See if the doctor is still there. Ask if he will carry me in.”
I ran through the rain. Banged on the door. The doctor came out and carried my friend in and then brought her out again.
For what seemed like forever, we waited for the lock smith to come. After we got home, I went to bed.
“You are a terrible friend,” I thought.
“You are irresponsible. Immature.”
I listened. Big mistake.
My confidence wavered. My muscles tensed. I had a hard time getting to sleep. It took a few days to feel myself again.
Today, that ole familiar voice stared at me again.
It had been a long day.
“This is too hard,” was the thought that popped into my head. “You’ll never make it through. Just give up,” joined right in. It’s too much. Why are you doing this?”
I started to listen, then I stopped.
I went to my office and goggled “emotional strength” because that was what I needed.
An article from the YouMe Works Selfhelp website came up on the screen. I read down until I came to the sentence “To become stronger, change your thoughts. It’s as simple and uncomplicated as that.”
Change my thoughts. To what? Fairy Tale endings? Big fat lies?
Remember, I was feeling low and believing it. But, the truth was more than my emotions. Truth was eternal. Biblical.
Why else would the author of Philippians dare to say,
- “whatever is true,
- whatever is honorable,
- whatever is just,
- whatever is pure,
- whatever is lovely,
- whatever is commendable,
- if there is any excellence,
- if there is anything worthy of praise,
- think about these things.
A crazy-long list. Powerful enough to transform a woman’s mind.
The truth? – I was
- an able bodied woman
- loved by God
- capable of handling stress
- tenacious enough to get the job done.
So, I carried on.