Beyond Co-dependency: How to find happiness within your own soul.



“Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone,”  Bill Withers wrote, “It’s not warm when she’s away.”

The cadence and melody really rocks but the message is not so great.

Come on. Face the truth.

It might be flattering to be someone’s sunshine for a little while, but after a while it gets old.

· Carrying around someone else’s happiness like a sack of potatoes.

· Or slinging your own bag of sorrows into the arms of your loved ones and expect them to make you smile.

“I finally realized”, one of my kids told me after he had been away from home for a while, “that its nobody else’s job to make me happy. It’s something I have to choose every day.”

We can’t squeeze it out of family members or take by force from our friends.

Bottom line – Our happiness is not dictated by our circumstances as much as it is by our perspective. We can choose to enjoy what we have. Or, we can decide to focus of what we don’t have.

It’s up to each one of us. To be happy. To be content even when who or what we think we need is not around.

When Great Expectations Get In the Way of Celebration–How to enjoy the person that God made you to be.

zuchini cake

I’m not a good cook.

To be honest, I’ve had few moments of brilliance. The rare alignment of the planets when I

  1. stir the ingredients together just right.
  2. put the concoction into the oven at just the right time and temperature.

Everything comes out bubbly and golden brown.

Most times, my attempts at cooking are more like stars colliding.

  • Potatoes have the consistency of Elmer’s glue.
  • Gravy is the shade of a river bottom in the middle of a drought.

Yesterday, the planets aligned.

I was tired. Emotional. Stressed out. Yet, all nine got in line. (Yes, I allowed Pluto back in line. So, sue me!)

What did I make?

1. A delectable chocolate zucchini cake. I found the recipe on I mean, if that’s repressed, let me in on the action.

2. Creamy, savory potato salad –my mother-in-law’s recipe. Now, that’s a feat in itself.

My mother-in-law should have registered her skills with the local authorities. She made killer French silk pie, elk burger chili and Cornish pasties.

Yesterday, I made Tina Hixson’s signature potato salad speak my name.

potato salad

What can I say?

We all have areas in our life that challenge us. Areas that make us face our weakest self. We’re human. We fail. We try. We fail again.

When we do triumph, celebrate.

Maybe you finally break out the band. Dance in the streets. Life is short. I might as well celebrate my triumphs.

  1. Parked your car within the white lines.
  2. Remembered to put gas in the car before it gets to empty.
  3. Told a joke without forgetting the punch line.
  4. Made a meal that actually tasted the way it should.

It’s those little victories that make life sweet.