Bad Dreams, Scary Thoughts and Anxiety -what to do when you think you are losing it in the middle of the night.

ink stain

Last night I woke up  with the sound of something slamming against the wall above my head.

It took a few seconds to untangle myself from sleep. I couldn’t remember

  • where I was.
  • what day it was.
  • who I was.

Then, I remembered the banging noise.

  1. On the outside wall.
  2. On the second floor.
  3. In the middle of the night.

I slowly slid off my bed and ran to the bathroom. Turned on the light. Checked under the bed. Turned off the light. Scrambled as fast as I could back to bed without letting my feet get to close to the danger zone. The space under the bed.

Rule of thumb –Never trust the uncharted territory beneath your mattress. Who in their right mind would hang out there?

My point exactly.

That’s why I always get a running start before I jump into bed at night.  To avoid whatever decidedly deranged creature lurking there. The one with long skinny fingers. Perfect for grabbing the ankles of middle aged women in the middle of the night.

So, I laid awake. In the dark.  Waiting for the beating on the walls to start again. The hands under the bed to make their way up the side of the mattress.

Then, the crazy thoughts kicked it up a notch. Forget the creeps under the bed. What about the future?

  • What if I lost my job?
  • What if my husband  lost his?
  • What if we lost the place where we live?
  • What if  my kids moved so far away I couldn’t go and see them?

Anxiety started to spread through me. It was like an ink stain, dark and quick. It spread until there was barely a bit of hope left in me. It spread until there was barely any room to breathe.

Not the way I wanted to spend my night.

So, I did the only thing I could do. I started to pray.

  • For my kids.
  • For my husband.
  • For my extended family
  • My house.
  • My job.
  • My blessings and struggles. My hopes and my fears.

I went for broke. Thanked God for anything and everything. The good and the bad. My blessings and struggles. What did I have to lose?

I praised  God until peace finally came. Light as a freshly laundered bed sheet. Steady as the breeze from a window fan.I praised Him until I fell asleep. Like a baby. Until morning.

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