Confessions of a sniveling soul-when life is all about my survival.



Mind if I make a confession?

I’ve always imagined myself  as a James Bond type Christian.

  • Courageous.
  • Unshakeable.
  • Calm with that I’m-not-going-to-crack-even-if-you-steal-the-fries-off-my-plate kind of face.

But, I’m not, you know, always calm. Solid as a rock. Brave as a Grizzly bear. 

Sometimes I come off more like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. I start out with good intentions but by the end of the day I’m

  1. groveling for attention.
  2. Consumed with self-preservation.
  3. Scrambling like some kind of prehistoric life form over other people just to get to the top.

Top of what?

That’s a very good question. I guess the top is where all the important people are. The top of the list of who’s who in my social world.  Who’s the most spiritual. Who’s got the busiest ministry. Who gets the most answers to their prayers.

It’s silly, this climbing. And, it’s sad, this focusing on myself. The more I fixate on getting what I want and protecting what I have the blinder I become.

Blind to the goodness of God. Blind to the brilliance of His mercy, the stunning glory of His grace.

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