I’m no famous photographer. But, hey, I know a great photo op when I see one. I entitled this conglomeration of crazed and clever relatives “Miss Lily Goes to Idaho”.
I went, too.
I guess the land of shot gun shells, gravel roads and wood stoves called our names. Grandma’s name, too.
All three of us answered.
- My daughter needed to try on her dress for one of my Idaho niece’s wedding.
- My husband was off to Grenada and I needed a new audience for my clever jokes and sage advice.
- Grandma was just about to pitch a fit if she didn’t get to see her brand new great grand baby girl.
I figured a quick nip down to the back woods of Idaho would ease all our minds. Besides, isn’t Idaho spelled backwards F.U.N. ? If not, who cares? Nobody in Idaho can spell anyway.
Well, we did have fun, just as I figured. What I didn’t figure on was encountering the profound.
It started with a dream I had a few nights after I arrived. In the dream, I tried to talk to different people but they either turned away from me in the middle of conversation or just plain got mad. It was weird.
Certainly not fun.
When I woke up I felt emotionally drained. As I hauled myself out of bed, I wondered if something I ate, read or saw on TV messed with my mind.
Then, I remembered what I’d been praying about the last few days. I wanted God to change me, to help me love other people.
Not an easy task for the Almighty, I fear. I harbor resentment and judgment as deeply as any withered old soul.
This dream – it was like the finger of God was pressing on what was holding me back – the fear of rejection.
I know I let opportunities slip away, chances to embrace the broken with compassion, to bring healing to the hurting just to protect myself.
I could not forget the dream.
So, amid the fun, I did a lot of thinking and listening and wondering about what God was trying to say to me.
Sunday, my brother preached on Romans 5:1 and 2. He talked about justification. Peace. Access into grace by faith and boasting in the glory of God.
Pretty hefty stuff for two little verses. But, what does that have to do me and my fear of rejection?
It’s all about God, not me. It’s about His truth –
- deep and mysterious,
- rich and endless,
- expansive and eternal
That is what we fall into when the people we love push us away. The truth about who God is. The truth about His love.
Summary of it all?
Taking Lily and Grandma to Idaho was fun. I got to
- the feel the feather weight of my new baby niece in my arms,
- the heat of a wood stove on my skin,
- the taste of crock pot chicken, fresh grill burgers, potato chips dipped in pork and beans on my tongue.
Best of all, I got a glimpse of God -through His word.
He is a much, much bigger God than I could ever imagine on my own.