I spent the long weekend in Maple Falls at the foothills of Mount. Baker. Just got back today.
It was magical. I rode my bike down a windy asphalt ribbon like I ruled the world -
- the wind blowing in my hair,
- the sun warming my face
- and my dog Molly racing by my side.
Then, Molly had to ruin everything by dashing in front of my bike. I smashed into the asphalt like a clump of mashed potatoes.
For a few seconds I couldn’t move, barely breathe. While I sprawled on the road, Molly sniffed around me. I groaned and tried to figure out how to regain control of my muscles.
It took a while.
Finally, I staggered to my feet, grabbed the dog leash and pushed the bike back the way I came. On the way, I assessed the damage. My ripped sleeve revealed a bloody elbow. I could feel my throbbing knee swelling against the fabric of my jeans.
It hurt like crazy. No surprise.
But, the gush of self pity washed that over me was unexpected. Up to the time I smashed into the pavement, I was having a great time. Now, I felt stupid. Clumsy. Ancient.
And, guilty – guilty for feeling what I was feeling.
I know what some of you are thinking. Hey, sounds like another hormonally weird day in the life of Renee.
Or, was it something more?
While I pushed the bike up to the porch of the family cabin, I began to wonder. What if this emotional confusion was nothing less than a battle for the mind…a spiritual skirmish between hope and futility, peace and despair? What if it was one small arena of conflict in the ongoing war for the heart and souls of human beings?
Sure it was barely an epiphany, microscopic at best. But, truth is truth no matter how big or small.
Absolute truth is the only weapon that blasts away the lies in our minds. Truth about our value in the sight of God. His love for us. Truth about our purpose in the light of eternity.
What can I say? I’m learning. Slowly. One day at a time.