It all started in Kindergarten.
No one asked my permission. My parents just dressed me up and sent me off to school with a box of crayons and a snack.
I hated it.
The next day I ditched the Ittsy Bitsy Spider songs, ABC games. Easily done. I just pretended to walk to school with my sister. Half way there, I ran back home and hid behind the bushes in the backyard.
I’m sure my mother knew I was there. But, she was overwhelmed with too many kids. Maybe she just decided to wait it out.
Then, my grandpa Schaal came to visit. I know what you are thinking – a jolly old coot with candy in his pocket hobbles onto the scene with a twinkle in his eye. Funny, I remember a short determined gentleman whose German heritage shone from his eyes like forged steel. He marched me to school so fast I barely missed morning circle time. Good ole Grandpa. Heart of gold. Nerves of iron. I never hid in the back yard again.
But, I still hated school.
I hated change even more. So, I came up with a solution – keep everything the same.
Not possible then. Not possible now.
I think it really hit me when my middle son got married in England last week.
This journey was
- so far out of my physical and emotional comfort zone
- I couldn’t pull off the cool, calm and collected woman
I so wanted to be.
Good news. Neither were my son’s in-laws the intimidating British folk I feared they would be. They graciously gave us hugs, fed us roast dinners and showed us around castles and manors and even took us to a jousting match.
I was surprised and delighted. Sure, I was still an emotional mess. But, God was in control.
Control – that’s the heart of the matter.
We often think that we are masters of our fate. Truth is, the hold we have on our destiny is fragile at best.
But, don’t panic.
Our times are in God’s hand.
Good to know since my life presently feels like an enormous sea of change. A major part of my “mom” job is phasing out. The kids are all in the process of establishing their own lives outside my own. All over the world.
Sometimes the changes seem so fast and furious I feel like I’ve lost all sense of time and space.
But, God remains the same. Steady. Unmoving. Never wavering in His love for us and those who may be miles and miles away.
No matter what distance, we are united in Him.