When I started the blog Living in Loserville, I figured I’d journal epic losses like how I
- lost my fear of what other people think
- lost my own critical attitude
- and even those nasty sugar cravings.
- misplaced car keys,
- lost my dignity occasionally,
- and even the family dogs from time to time.
Not exactly what I had in mind.
Then, just before Christmas I l stood in the middle of Walmart and rummaged around for my wallet.
It was gone.
I sent mom to check with Consumer Services while I raced to the parking lot to see if it fell on the ground.
Just as I began to slide into that deep, dark place of “why does this always happen to me? What is wrong with me? Why am I doomed to mess everything up” I prayed, begging God to bring my wallet back.
Pretty spiritual, I know. Me praying instead of kicking and screaming. I almost wished I had some kind of video cam for the inside of my head. Let the whole world know that I was actually turing to God instead of my usual “rage against the darkness” routine.
Then, God spoke to me. No it was not an audible voice. I”d probably had ended up in the ditch from sheer terror.
Instead, He brought to mind something my mom said earlier in the day.
“Did you ever think that are prayers are often just telling God what we want?” she said in typical octogenarian fashion interrupting my brilliant comparison of Brooklyn 99 and The Blacklist.
“What if God has something totally different in mind?” she continued, “Maybe we should wonder what He wants to do.”
It could not have been no more clear than if he had reached down His divine hand and pulled the emergency brake on the Honda Civic as we raced home.
What does God want?
“Lord,” I prayed with renewed faith, “Where ever my wallet is now, who ever has it in their hands, bless them. Use this whole situation to bring peace and joy. Let this crazy flawed up day spell out your glory…right across the sky of someone else’s life.”
Yeah, I think I was losing it there at the end of my prayer. But, I was beginning to see that I needed something beyond a lost wallet. I needed to see God at work in my messy, insignificant life.
When I finally got home, my husband reminded me to cancel my credit cards.
“Be sure and let the bank know,” he added the phone rang.
It was the RCMP. My wallet had been recovered.
The officer proceeded to tell me how a young woman approached his patrol car while he sat in a Cloverdale parking lot. She cried as she gave him a thick black women’s wallet.
“This rarely happens,” the officer explained, “The young woman was a recovering addict…from dark drugs. what she did today took great courage an willpower.”
After I signed for my wallet from the police officer, I asked for contact information so that I could properly thank this courageous young lady.
As I pulled up at the Cloverdale A&W I saw a tall dark haired young woman at one of the outdoor tables smoking furiously. She talked on the cellphone while hugging her ski jacket close.
The lovely young aboriginal lady was the one I”d come to thank. We hugged. Her mother and friend came out of the restaurant and hugs started all over again. In-between tears and laughter,
The mom explained how she had been praying for her daughter through this hard time. After two years of living on the streets of Vancouver, her daughter had come home. It was all part of answered prayer.
“She’s getting clean,” her mom said, “we are so proud of what she did today.”
We all hugged and cried again and then said our goodbyes.
Weird, how a day can turn out.
Ok, more than weird. Absolutely mind boggling how God can pull back the curtain on the unseen and let us get a glimpse of what He’s all about.
Mysterious ways that we may never fully understand until we get to heaven. He does what he does and uses what He uses to fulfill plans we cannot begin to wrap our finite heads around.
Unending Mercies that reach us at our lowest point and in our darkest hour. On the streets of Vancouver or sitting out side the A and W in Cloverdale, he knows where we are and wants to draw us to Him.
Utter Delight in his children even when they are pretty much a mess. He knows the fallibility of the humans he created. He knows the flaws and the failures. Yet, he choses to us to to bless others in amazing ways.
God is good all the time. Not just when we get it all together. Not just when we are free of pain or sorrow. He hears our prayers even when we don’t know what to pray. He answers them in ways we may not even understand. For reasons we may never know.
He is good. All the time.