30th anniversary- the Celebration of Singlehood Superhero who waited on God


Sorry about the superhero stuff. Always wanted to be one. In a small way, maybe I am. i can’t fly but I can cry. Can’t leap a building in a single bound but I can drive like I’m possessed.

Got to count for something.

I was 27 when I put on the cape. Took up the fight. I openly defied  the constant pressure of the media and even the church community to woo singles into couplehood.

I mean, seriously, wasn’t there more to marriage than just grabbing a warm body with testosterone  and dragging it down the aisle?

Most importantly, I realized that the demands of pursuing “wedded bliss” was  totally messed up and had directed me away from my deepest desire- for God to direct each step of my life.

Let me tell you, more than a few  well-meaning matchmakers fought back. I was duly warned about the dangers of not finding someone before  my hair fell out, my chin sagged and my chances at motherhood became non-existent.


I was only 27 for heaven’s sake! I was  “get-out-there-and-live-radically-for-Jesus” young with no familial or romantic ties to hold me back.

And, so I pretty much told all the “if you ain’t married, you ain’t happy” do-gooders to take a hike. How dare anyone limit life’s joy to something that may be beyond our control?

Bottom line- This chick was flying solo until the creator of the universe intervened.

Talk about relief.

I grew closer to God and developed spiritual gifts i had not known I had. Went on adventures in other countries and got to know the strangest and most interesting people in the most bizarre circumstances. (gotta love those bizarre circumstances and strange people!)   Funny thing is, I relaxed and was able to make closer relationships with ordinary single guys without worrying about “the future”.

Then, God made his move.

I was ready, well,  as ready as a flawed human being could be. I mean, the tenuous beginnings of a new relationship can be scary.  I stressed out when it all didn’t seem to come together at times. But, all in all, I walked by faith, a faith that had grown to a steady beat when me and God had walked alone.

That faith gave me the courage to allow God to work in my heart and in the heart of the one he brought into my life.

That was thirty years ago.  God saw past my fear and sometimes misdirected expectations. He gave me a man of integrity and compassion, vision and deep faith.

I realize now that marriage has so little to do with hoopla of the wedding ceremony and EVERYTHING to do with the journey. My husband and I have been blessed with a journey of great love and stressful uncertainty, deep sorrow and amazing joy.

Thirty years.  God walked with us each step of the way.

love you Dennis. Happy Anniversary

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