To be honest, I don’t trust music much. Sound tracks and radio play lists are the worst. They get you dancing along and then they hit you with some tune that rips your heart out.
I have places to go and people to see. I don’t want to live my life looking like I came straight from the wailing wall.
Worship music at church is the worst. You can’t change the channel or turn down the volume. Sure, sticking your fingers in your ears and humming works but so does yelling “Not that sappy song” while unplugging the worship leader’s microphone.
Not what people pleasers like me tend to do in public.
So I listen, sniff a lot and pretend my allergies are shoving my my sinuses out through my tear ducts.
Last Sunday morning I let my guard down. It was sort of a kid’s service, ok? Skits. Fun songs. Great dance moves. No reason to burst into tears.
Then, the worship team began to lead the kids in the song Jesus loves me. I thought it was the old version I had sung one million, billion, trillion times. (Yeah, that’s how many times I went to church as pastor’s kid.)
It was a different song written by Ben Glover, Chris Tomlin, Reuben Morgan.
One line of the song really got me. I mean, really, really got into my heart.
“Jesus loves me, He loves me, He is for me”
Suddenly, I felt like I did in grade school. Standing in the gym waiting for someone to call my name. To want me on their team.
Ha! Like it mattered in the great scheme of things.
Evidently it did because I could still feel my cheeks burn as I stood alone. Again. But, I lived with it. Still knew that Jesus loved me. As a kid I figured He loved everybody -in a group hug sort of a way.
I never thought
of Jesus being
Choosing me, specifically me
to be with him.
After church, I casually mentioned how I liked the song Jesus Loves me and my eyes started to well up like some kind of underground seepage.
It was weird.
Well, maybe not as weird as the unexplainable urge to run home from school and tell mom that I finally got chosen for a team. After all these years.
Thing is, I did get chosen. I just didn’t realize it then. Jesus gave his life for me. He loves me. He is for me.
And all those kids in my grade school P.E. class were wrong.
I do belong.
And so do you. Jesus, He loves you. He is for you.